Realized today that I shouldn't feel so bad about how slow my progress with wushu has been in the last decade or so after all I spent at least four years of that time, if not more, just trying to rehab from surgeries. From that perspective, I actually made a shit ton of progress going from a blown out knee to about status-quo, and then having to repeat that whole process one more time. I do think that I'm currently very close to where I was prior to the second surgery minus jump front kick aerial and tornado split. But that's okay, jumping will always be something I struggle with. Lately, I've just been disappointed with my progress in trying to develop explosiveness and control. Sometimes I see and feel glimpses of it but then sometimes I don't feel it at all.

I'm really not quite sure what's the best way to train for developing crispness because I feel like it's some combination of strength, rhythm, and stamina. Quick-twitch muscle could go a long way but it's also a lot about creating an illusion of speed and I have a track history of just going one-speed and somehow looking both slow and rushed. That's a great thought there, how is it possible to look both slow and rushed? 

Since the school year started, I made the decision to reflect and privately write about all my experiences related to medicine, and I think that was such an amazing decision for myself. There are a lot of ups and downs but more and more, I can see that the exercise has given me such clarity regarding my resolutions. At the moment, I can't help but feel that there is so much joy in ending the day thinking, "Yes, this is absolutely what I want to do with the rest of my life. I am exactly where I want to be."

Struggling to decide if I can go to team trials. The plane ticket is expensive, I have an exam on the Monday following weekend, and I don't have nandu. If I can manage to get front jump kick aerial by the the registration deadline? I don't know.